Healthy Eating Habits Without All-or-Nothing Thinking Ep: 48

In this episode I will discuss how all or nothing thinking is slowing your weight loss progress. 

Transcript

 Welcome to episode 31. So I am so excited about this episode because fun fact, self discipline is one of my favorite words. I'm going to be talking about self discipline and weight loss. So I'm going to jump right in. What is self discipline?  I define self discipline simply as doing the things that you know, you need to do to reach your goal, even when you don't feel like it. 

And I am going to talk more about where to start with building self discipline because self discipline is something that you can learn. You are not just born self discipline or not, but I think that's the way that I've heard people talk about self discipline. Is as if it's going to come in, like sit in your lap one day.

Oh, I can't wait until I'm more self disciplined with my nutrition. It's like, no, you have to do that on purpose. That's going to be a conscious effort intentionally repetitiously on your part so that you can be more self disciplined. It's not just going to happen. So in this episode, I'm going to discuss why I really like motivation. 

Over discipline. I always say motivation over self discipline. I'm going to teach you and help you understand what I mean by that because one leads into the other. Um, I'm going to talk about where to start with building your self discipline and then some questions to ask yourself that are going to change your life.

Finding the answers to these questions are going to change your life. So you want to make sure that you listen to the end of this episode to find out what those questions are. So really quickly though, I want to invite you if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, or even if you're new and you, and you just found me, but this, Topic and the previous episodes sound like exactly what you need.

The fit figure formula is open right now for group enrollment. So on our last episode, I did a full breakdown of what you can expect in my 16 week program. At the time of this recording, it is 16 weeks. I am coaching you on macros and mindset. I'm helping you to understand your nutrition, but also understand yourself.

And this ties directly into this episode today because self discipline is created, but there's a lot of internal work that has to be done. That has to be brought to the surface in order for you to really like nail self discipline, weight loss. Is an inside job. This is something that you are going to have to create from the inside out.

If you want to keep it an inside the fit figure formula, this is what I teach. I am not just going to give you a meal plan and a workout regimen that's free on the internet. And you are still listening to this podcast because. Likely you don't have your goal yet. You haven't reached your goal yet. That means that the free things that you might have available to you are not fixing your problem. 

So it's not everything that's external. It is the internal battle that is keeping you from your goal, whether it be self sabotage, lack of self discipline, lack of knowledge, all or nothing thinking, perfectionism. These are the things that are probably keeping you from your goal. And this is what I help you do.

I help you create the goal from the inside out so that you are fundamentally different. You think fundamentally different, which is going to change everything. This is going to change your entire life. Not even just your. Weight loss journey, but how you interact with your job, your kids, your husband, yourself,  how you feel about yourself, all the things.

So, um, if this sounds like something that you know that you need, if you've been struggling with your weight or body image or negative self talk for such a long time, If you can't remember the last time you actually encouraged yourself, you should apply to the fit figure formula. I'm going to help you get fit mind and body.

So you have a limited time to apply to the fit figure formula. So right now you have already missed the bonus enrollment. You missed early bird enrollment, and I don't want you to. Be left out. So go ahead and go to the show notes right now. Just pause this, go to the show notes, go ahead and apply to work with me right now so that you can save your spot for the next round of the fit figure formula.

All right. So let's get into this episode. So I'm going to explain a little bit more about why I like motivation over discipline. So I consider motivation  the energy that is required to just get started doing something that you may have resistance to.  So it's just getting started. That is what motivation is. 

So motivation does not have to encompass adrenaline or big feelings of joy to do the thing, or. any kind of excitement. It just means I got started on doing something that I was resisting doing. And resistance looks like procrastination, negotiating with yourself. Like this is an example. If I need to go And work out in the morning, but then I'm like, Oh, well, I don't feel like it right now.

So I'll just go in the afternoon. No, and good. And well, you are not going in the afternoon. Right. And we play this game with ourselves day after day, week after week. We're like, okay, well, let me go in the afternoon. And then you don't. And then you're like, okay, let me go in the morning. And then you don't.

And you keep kicking the can down the road because you really don't want to go. Um,  so that's what I mean by that, like negotiating with yourself. Um, and that can look like other things as well, but that's just one example. Resistance can also look like distracting yourself. And I don't know about you, but for a lot of my clients, that distraction is usually social media where you just get on your phone and you start to scroll and time just goes by and you're distracting your mind with doing something that gives you sort of an immediate dopamine hit  versus. 

Getting started on the thing that you know that you might not really want to do whether that be Prepping your meals or going for a walk or getting your workout in or doing your mindset work, which is what my clients Sometimes do there are certain things that they resist doing more than others and I'm like, oh, here's a resistance Right?

So we have to understand how to manage that resistance because that is how we get to be self discipline  by managing the resistance. And the reason why I like motivation over self discipline is because self discipline feels big. Self discipline feels very heavy and large. And sometimes it's like hard to go from seeing yourself as someone who's not self discipline  all of a sudden being self discipline.

Like that's just like a really big jump for a lot of people. But if you look at motivation as the energy required to get started, I can get started. One of the hacks that I use with my clients who may be resisting something, and a lot of times we'll tell ourselves, well, I just need to do it.  I just need to do it.

And I'm like, yeah, but how long have you been telling yourself that that's not working? That's a dead end sentence. And then it makes you feel Incompetent or lazy because you just can't do it. But in reality, our brain likes a step by step process. Even if it's super simple, really, especially if it's super simple,  our brain likes a step by step process.

So I will have my clients. Okay. Let's say you're resisting something. I want you to set a timer. I literally want you to set a timer and set the timer for five minutes, period, set the timer for five minutes and just get started.  And somehow a lot of times your brain,  Can get behind that your brain can get behind just getting started for five minutes.

And a lot of times because now we're starting in that five minutes, we'll probably go a little bit longer.  And my philosophy is all or something, right? A lot of perfectionists will have all or nothing thinking if I can't do everything, then I won't do anything at all. But if you start with that five minutes, Then you get all or something done.

Something is better than nothing at all. And staying in your resistance, in your procrastination, in your negotiation, in your distraction, I got something done, right? That alone will help to boost your confidence and your self concept in regards to self discipline. So. This is why I like motivation over self discipline.

Now, if you  master or at least make significant progress with  increasing your motivation, meaning just getting started on the tasks, that means you are doing all or something. That means you're not stopping and starting, which means that you are getting consistent, which means that over time you are being self disciplined.

If you're getting started on tasks, Consistently and taking action. You are being self disciplined,  but it takes off the overwhelming task of being self disciplined. If I can just say, Hey, how can I just get started? That is going to help your brain. To actually take action and be like, okay, yeah, I can do this because guess what?

If I go to the gym, let's say I haven't been to the gym in a while, but I go to the gym one day and I just get on the treadmill,  it's going to be easier for me to go the next day and the next day and the next day. Right. Because I just got started. So I promise you this works just getting started. So this is why I like motivation over self discipline motivation.

The act of just getting started will help you be more self discipline in the long term, but self discipline is, it's a concept, right? A self concept, whether or not you think you are self discipline or not, but it is also a longer game than just getting started. But one leads into the next.  So I hope that makes sense.

Okay. So here's where to start with building self discipline.  When we talk about self discipline, we have to manage our thoughts. Thought management is required. Okay? So I want you to think about how much time are you spending thinking on purpose?  How much time are you spending thinking about self discipline  thinking about Yourself and your actions.

How much time are you spending practicing being the person that you want to be?  You are not going to wake up one day  and be self disciplined.  You have to answer the question for yourself. What does that even look like? These are great journal prompts, by the way. What does self discipline look like for me?

What would that mean? Well, how would that change my life? How would that change my day? What would I be doing if I was already self disciplined? So that you can actually get clear on what that actually means. This is so important because we will say, I want to be self disciplined without any concept of.

What that actually is for you. And if we don't have a clear understanding of what that means for you, you actually might be making significant progress towards actually being self disciplined, but because you didn't set the bar, you didn't make the goal clear. You'll continue to repeat to yourself over and over again, that I'm not self disciplined when maybe you actually are more disciplined than you think.

But because you haven't set a standard, we'll just repeat that sentence over and over again. And our con, our self concept will still be that I'm not self disciplined. Right? So I really want you to think about how much time are you spending thinking about yourself and your health journey on purpose? How much time are you spending practicing being the person that you want to be?

And this is a great tip or a  little homework for you to try is wake up tomorrow, one day next week, whenever, pick the day and decide that you will practice being her, your highest and best self, the best version of yourself. I want you to wake up and start practicing being her. That means that you would actually have to think like her.

Before you can just go and just be more self disciplined and take the actions that you'd want to take, you'd actually have to slow down and think, what would this look like? What kind of habits, what kind of thoughts would I need to have in order? to actually execute this and be the highest and best version of myself.

Um, we had a couple of clients in the fit figure form of this past week. So we were practicing doing some visualization for the last few weeks. And two of my clients who both happened to be accountants, uh, were like, listen, my brain is analytical. I don't, this woo woo kind of visualization. They were really struggling with it.

And number one, I'm like, okay, cool.  You are not used to maybe using that part of your brain. How can you just get started for five minutes and just like start and see what comes out, right? Think about if you cannot even fathom in your brain, what it would look like to be your highest and best self. How will you ever actually implement that?

How will you be that if you can't even see it in your mind or if you have so much resistance to thinking outside the box or thinking in an abstract way, how's that going to work?  We have to give ourself permission to think.  Thought management is going to be your first step in terms of where to start with your self discipline.

And the good thing is this is just a practice. This is something that you can practice over and over and over again, asking yourself powerful questions and Answering those questions is going to change your life. So I want you to think about  one day this week or next week, pick one day when you're going to decide that you're going to pretend, you're going to practice waking up and operating as the best version of yourself. 

Now, for some of you, that might feel like, I have no idea  and that's okay. But the pursuit of getting more clear on that is going to help you to actually be self disciplined and actually become. The woman that you want to be so that you can reach your health and fitness goals. So think about how are you preparing for your day? 

How are you preparing for obstacles? How are you preparing for the resistance because the resistance is coming,  right?  Your highest and best version of yourself. How is she preparing for her day? How is she? Preparing for obstacles in life that are going to come up  where she has to prioritize Her fitness journey, self discipline is not going to happen on accident.

This is going to have to be an intentional act on your part. And before the actions even come, you got to think you have to practice thought management and get really clear on that. Okay. So talked about where to start and here are the powerful questions that you can ask yourself. I've already kind of gone over several, but finding the answers to these questions. 

Will change your life. Okay. So I always say nutrition will change your size. Fitness will change your shape, but mindset will change your life.  So your answers to these questions, these are great journal prompts is where you can start with understanding what is self discipline to you.  How is that going to change your health journey if you are the person that can create the result?

So number one,  What version of myself would I need to be, to be self disciplined? And even as I'm saying that, I, I heard someone say, I can't wait to be self disciplined. And  I think that sometimes we might think that I need to be disciplined in order to reach my health and fitness goals.  And the reason why we want to be disciplined is so that we can have the goal.

So what we really want is the outcome or the product that self discipline yields us,  but there has to be something within you that  The process of becoming self disciplined, you got to fall in love with that process.  I personally, it's one of my favorite words and I know that like, that's weird. And I'm probably one of the only people that like really resonate with like, not just the outcome that you get from being self disciplined, but the act of disciplining yourself, which means sometimes that like, you have to do things that you don't really want to do.

You may. You don't have to restrict yourself in certain areas when it comes to your food or who you hang around or how you set up your environment. Like the actual process. I don't think that a lot of people love the process, but they want the outcome that comes with it. So I do believe that there has to be, if we want this to work long term. 

Um, some compromise in terms of like being very rigid,  but also finding ways that I can make this a lifestyle and still work for me  and having some actual hacks, some mindset tools that I can utilize to help myself out. And this is what I teach my clients in the fit figure formula. I give them so many tools that are so simple so that they can overcome their resistance so that they can learn.

More about who do I want to be? Who would I need to be? In order to reach my goals. This is so important. Who would you need to be? What version of yourself would you need to be in order to reach your health and fitness goals? Do I want what self discipline will get me? Or do I actually want to be self disciplined?

Like, do you want the product of being self disciplined without Actually being self disciplined. Cause I think sometimes we do that where we really want to skip the journey. We really just want the outcome. We really just want the product without having to actually be self disciplined. But. When you truly prioritize your health, when you truly love your body and love yourself and you take care of yourself,  that becomes a pleasure to be able to say, you know what, here are my boundaries.

Here are my parameters. Here's what I can do. Here's what I can't do in this season. I get to make that decision. Right. I am not about being restrictive. I'd never tell my clients like, don't eat this, don't eat that, don't eat that. We don't focus on that, but I focus on the abundance. I focus on all the foods that I can have that are going to serve my goals and all of my energy goes there versus.

How can I cut out things? And that means self discipline. So maybe you can think about self discipline as the highest form of love for yourself versus how can I take away things or how can I be harder on myself? How can I just make myself do it? That is not going to last long term. Willpower is a very poor way to become more self disciplined.

Another powerful question that's going to change your life is Where am I already self discipline? A lot of times we always think that we're behind or we're not doing a good job, but ask yourself,  where do I already have traits of self discipline? And what happens when I begin to build my self discipline?

How is this going to change my life? How is it going to change my day? How is it going to change my thoughts? How is it going to change how I feel?  Because if you are building self discipline out of the highest form of love for yourself, you will probably feel better and more loved and more taken care of versus just restricted. 

Self discipline is not just beating yourself up or just being restricted. It is also.  Love. It is also compassion. It is also looking out for your best interest. And then that creates more self confidence and more self esteem. So if you answer the question of what version of myself would I need to be, the pursuit of that answer is going to change your life. 

And this isn't even like a one time Question where you would just answer the question one time.  This is a question that you can come back to again and again and refine it and get even more specific and write down specific examples like, okay, this version of myself would be doing X, Y, and Z. And if you have no answers to that question right now,  That's okay.

I want you to start with where you are. But part of the thought management that I mentioned earlier is actually allowing yourself to have some silence and to actually think we don't like to think as a society, we want to just keep going. We want to fill our time with things, but. If you actually want to become more resilient, more self disciplined, you want to reach your fitness goals, your weight loss goals, and actually keep them, you're going to have to slow down and be more comfortable with the silence.

Because in that silence, when you're just thinking, it's just you and your thoughts. Those are really, really powerful moments where you get to decide what self discipline looks like for you, who you want to become, how you are going to get there. What is that going to look like? How is it going to change your life?

How do you want to feel?  You get to decide all of those things versus being so in a rush and you have no idea exactly where you're going. You're just doing things and cluttering up your mind, cluttering up your time with doing things that over the long term are not going to be. The most productive. It is so important for you to understand your triggers  for self sabotage.

It is so important that you set intentions and you write them down and you actually intend to execute. And then it's so important that you actually reflect if you did a great job this week, why, how did you create that? What thoughts were you thinking?  What feelings were you feeling? How did you set your environment up to be successful this week?

If you reflect and you didn't have a great week as you wanted, why,  what happened? What thoughts were you thinking? What feelings were you feeling? How can you course correct for the next week?  Having a great nighttime routine. We just talked about this in the fit figure formula, having a great night routine where you kind of just, Do a little recap of your day and Reset refocus and then that is how you have a powerful morning your morning routine people will talk about morning routines Your morning routine is very important But it starts the night before setting your intentions and deciding what you want to do What's your priorities, what you're going to take action on versus what you're going to let go today.

So if you want to become more self disciplined in your weight loss journey,  you must start with being more aware of your thoughts and start managing your thoughts and thinking about yourself on purpose in your weight loss journey. If you need help with this, if you have I've been struggling with this or if you've never even tried, you've never even thought of yourself, um, in this way, I ask my clients lots of questions, right?

Like I'm a coach, this is what I'm supposed to do. Um, and I ask my clients questions and I love it when I ask them a question that their brain has never thought of before. I'm like, Oh my God, I've never. Thought of that. I've never tried to answer that question. And that's like an amazing thing. Your brain has a new thought that now it has to kind of like work out.

And the process of you figuring out the answer is so valuable. And that's the part that's going to change your life. But we have to slow down. We have to reflect. We have to actually be okay with having some space and some silence.  We have to be okay with. That accountability. And as your coach, I'm here to help you work through your thoughts about yourself and your self discipline, whether or not you can do it, how you feel where you want to be in three months, six months, nine months, a year.

I get to help my clients become the woman who creates the result.  This is what the fit figure formula is all about. You get to create the result, not because you followed somebody's meal plan, but because you are becoming the woman who creates the result. You're becoming the woman who, this is how I take care of myself.

This is how I think. These are my powerful thoughts that I think on purpose. I'm managing my thoughts so that I can take these actions so that I can overcome my own resistance so that I can self coach in the moment. And I'm not self sabotaging instead.  This is real power. And I am so excited to teach you.

If you are joining the next round, go ahead and go to the show notes, make sure that you apply doors are going to be closing pretty soon. So make sure that you apply in the show notes. So if you have any questions about joining the fit figure formula, Slide into my DMS immediately. Go to the show note.

There is a link there to find me on Facebook and you can ask me any questions that you want. I did a whole behind the scenes. Is this for me as well? So if you're already my friend on Facebook, you can check that out on my Facebook profile. If you're watching this in real time or inside my Facebook group, easiest way would just be to slide into my DMS. 

on Facebook or Instagram. So I cannot wait to help you. Do not miss this opportunity to join the best group program on Beyonce's internet. I am not going to leave you confused about your nutrition. After these 16 weeks, I'm going to teach you exactly what you need to know on the inside and the outside to make this stick for life.

So I cannot wait to see your application come through and I'll see you on the next episode.